O yea, we put a bird on it.

Petsmart, the zoo, our front yard wherever we go, OBoy notices tweet tweet s. I raised a regular bird enthusiast.

So imagine his delight when Friday morning we hear a bird chirp from inside our chimney. Bird! In the! Chimney! O so! exciting!

Except it was pretty (loudly) apparent that the bird was not happy to be in there.

Despite having two very expensive bachelors degrees to our name, DanO and I were at a loss as to how to solve this problem. Neither the Applied Health Science (DanO) nor the Elementary Education (me) departments had required a course in pest removal. (I want my money back.)

First thought was to reach up in there (with leather gloves on, of course). Except, where exactly is there ? We were fresh out of flashlights, but you KNOW there s an app for that, and shortly with the help of our cell phones it was clear that there would be no simple reaching of the bird. There s a ledge up in there that he had perched on and although DanO has long arms, they don t bend like that which means the bird was out of reach.

Please forgive me. Never in 329 million years did I think I would be posting a picture of the inside of my fireplace on the interwebs or else I surely would have cleaned it. Those might be dried leaves on the ground there, which have probably come into my house by the same means as our little birdie friend. And do excuse the soot.

Hey, while we re at it, yes, that is my toddler in a disposable diaper. We just got back from vacation and I haven t touched the laundry.

There you have it.

All the excitement had OBoy unsure what to think. He would go up close to the fireplace, pointing, and declare tweet tweet!! until the bird flapped his wings or chirped from inside the chimney, at which point he ran away startled.

It was a love hate relationship.

After several minutes spent brainstorming how to get the bird free (hoping to avoid a well, he ll die eventually situation), DanO had an idea that involved cardboard and, of course, the leather gloves. He put the board up on the ledge at an angle so that when the bird landed on it he would slide down and out into the fireplace.

(Again, please to be ignoring the soot and dried leaves.)

The strategy was almost immediately successful. Note the bird standing on the ground, visible just above DanO s thigh.

And this is the part where I joined OBoy in the squeamish camp. There was a bird. in. my. living. room. It landed on the tile in front of the fireplace, and before DanO could snag it, he had hopped behind my couch.

There was a bird. behind. my. couch.

Then there was a bird on. my. DVD. Boxes.

And a bird. on. my. ottoman.

It was all fun and games while the bird was hopping around. DanO was slowly trying to corner him, OBoy was standing it absolute shock, and I was snapping away with the camera until the bird took flight.

Have you ever had a bird flying in your living room? Poor little fella doesn t understand the concept of a ceiling. After a handful of impacts, I was afraid this wasn t going to end well. (I was also TOTALLY freaked out by the BIRD. IN. MY. LIVING. ROOM.)

Finally the poor guy lighted on my curtain rod.

(Say it with me: bird. on. my. curtain. rod.)

Aren t we just so forward thinking here at O My Family? I mean, people have been slapping bird silhouettes on various products and selling them like hotcakes for the last few years. So trendy! But we? We take it to the next level. Silhouette shmilhouette. We use the real thing.

Live bird finials are going to be hot. Just wait and see.

What I was not willing to wait and see, however, was when the bird was going to let one go . Bird in my living room? Exciting and kind of intense. Bird poop in my living room? NOT OK.

Wait for it

Wait for it

Got em!

For the next, I don t know, 5 minutes? we introduced the birdie to our various family members. Pearl was enthralled.

(OBrother did not meet the bird, as he was sleeping, and well, he wouldn t have met the bird anyway.)

OBoy was not so sure.

Funny how they are so exciting when he is out but put a bird in his territory and he could take it or leave it. Slowly he got closer and felt more comfortable, and then a moment or so later and a switch flipped. He was ELATED.

BIRD! IN! MY! LIVING! ROOM!

Like all good things, though, holding the birdie captive had to come to an end (plus I was a little worried he d have a coronary on us with Pearl getting so up in his face). We took him out the front door, said our goodbyes, and DanO released his grip.

He flew away, into a large tree across the street faster than you could say put a bird on it .